The Mom Hat: Shit My Kid Did Today


I guess it’s an improvement from the walls.

Considering encouraging this behavior. The tub is easily washable and it saves trees.



The Mom Hat: A Case For Summer Pregnancies

Snowed-in public school, Valdez, Alaska, 1910 Because there wasn’t enough blocking your front door right now.

One of the top things I hear on the birth boards/groups this time around, is how grateful ladies are that they are not pregnant during the summer. Having been pregnant during the summer the first time, I am going to make my case why I think this is the most absurd statement ever (at least if you live in the North.)

1. No flip flops when your feet swell or shorts when your legs do too.
2. No cute summery dresses to show off your bump. In fact, no one can tell you’re pregnant under that huge coat.
3. Maternity jackets are expensive.
4. Shivering during contractions/Braxton Hicks.
5. Your baby shower is going to be inside.
6. Center of gravity change + pregnancy clumsiness + ice covered sidewalks/steps/streets = disaster.
7. Try shoveling your car out of the snow in your third trimester.
8. Your maternity portraits are going to be inside.
9. There’s no Black Friday when you’re pregnant if you care at all about you baby’s well being. You’ve seen the videos on YouTube. Just in case you didn’t:
10. Forget about getting your drink on on New Years.

BONUS: People might actually mistake you for a penguin with all the waddling.

What are some other reasons why being pregnant in the Summer is better??
….. or why being pregnant in the winter sucks?

The Chef Hat: Mountain Dew Cake


This was a trial-run for a possible new birthday cake just for the hubby. If you don’t know our family, Tripper has been a Mountain Dew addict since before I even met him. To give you an idea, he probably polishes off a 2-Liter in a day or two (and that’s an improvement from before terrorist #1.) So when I saw this recipe from Lil Miss Bossy, I absolutely had to move it up to the top of my baking list.

Serving Size: 1 Cake
Total Time: 1 Hour

1 Box Betty Crocker Lemon Cake Mix
4 Eggs
1 and 1/2 Cups Mountain Dew
1/2 Cup Vegetable Oil
1/3 Cup Unsalted Butter
1 Cup Sugar
1/2 Cup Mountain Dew

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a medium saucepan, mix glaze ingredients and bring to a boil. Stir until butter is melted completely. Refrigerate.
3. Grease/oil/spray a fluted circle pan or Bundt pan. See: Bundt Basics
4. Mix cake ingredients until well blended. Add the Mountain Dew last and slowly.

5. Pour batter evenly into pan and bake for 45 minutes or until a knife or pick comes out clean from the middle.
6. Let cake cool in the pan for 10 minutes then transfer to a wire rack. (Remember to use a rubber spatular when loosening the cake from the pan.)
7. Poke the cake with a knife, fondue fork, skewer or anything that will make tiny unnoticeable holes.
8. Stir glaze then pour over cake. Cool completely then dust generously with powdered sugar.


  • Glaze cake on wire rack instead of on it’s final platter if you don’t want it to pool around the cake. For me, I let it pool because I love a wet cake.
  • The powdered sugar will get absorbed by the glaze after some time passes. If presentation is important, don’t powder it until right before you need it.
  • Read up on how to use Bundt pans properly. If the cake isn’t coming out, let it cool a little longer.

Thanks, Jess!

Slow Cooker Upside-Down Cranberry Apple Cake

xoxo Kim

The Chef Hat: Strawberry Cheesecake Pancakes


Found this recipe initially in an email digest from the one-and-only Betty Crocker herself. Me being 6 1/2 months pregnant, I can’t stress to you enough how excited I was to make these. I had been waiting DAYS but discipline allowed me to hold out for New Years Eve breakfast. Now mine don’t look nearly as pretty but it matters very little, because if you don’t use a KNIFE this will become a big pile of messy delicious creation after the first bite. Ready for the recipe?

Servings: 3 People or 6 Pancakes
Total Time: 30-45 minutes

4oz Cream Cheese
1 Box Jell-O Cheesecake Instant Pudding Mix
1 Cup Milk
1 Cup Bisquick Pancake Mix
1/2 Cup Chopped/Crushed Graham Crackers
3/4 Cup Water
Sliced Fresh or Frozen/Thawed Strawberries
Strawberry Syrup

On the website you’ll see a recipe a bit different than mine. Here’s my notes:

  • I prefer Bisquick over Fiber One because I’ve never tried the Fiber One. I’m sure you can use any pancake mix and it’ll work out just fine for you.
  • I didn’t pay attention to measurements for Syrup or Strawberries because I don’t believe in setting limits on toppings. If you’re a true adult you’ll be able to estimate how many strawberries you’ll need per person and how much syrup you generally like on your pancakes.
  • Our serving sizes are different. When I made this I was able to get 3 servings at 2 pancakes per person and I had a ton of leftover cream cheese filling. It’s a matter of how big you want your pancakes. My pancakes were about 3 inches in diameter.
  • Make sure you soften the cream cheese or you’ll have chunks and your filling will look a bit curdle-y.
  • The texture of your graham crackers should reflect how chunky you want your pancakes and if you’re using the OXO pancake squeezer tool thingy.

1. Mix cream cheese, pudding mix and milk until creamy. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
2. Mix pancake mix, water and graham crackers until well blended.
3. Heat griddle or skillet over medium heat. Grease with butter or oil. Pour about 1/4 cup of batter per pancake. Cook until edges are dry and surface is bubbling. Flip for cook for another minute or less.
4. Layering should go like this: Pancake –> Cream Cheese Filling –> Strawberries –> Pancake –> Strawberries –> Syrup
5. Top with whipped cream if desired.

You will declare that this is the best thing you’ve ever eaten in your entire life (even without marijuana) but try not to eat it too fast. Happy New Year!! I raise my glass of sparkling grape juice to you!
xoxo Kim


The Mom Hat: How To: Tell If You’re In Labor

#1. You don’t need a random blogger to tell you you’re in labor… you fucking know and your doctor better call you back right fucking now.

#2. You can’t write a post on Baby Center asking your fellow pre-laborers if you are in labor because you’re too focused on being in labor.

#3. You can time your contractions and you’re not “hmm”ing and “huh”ing about it.

#4. You want to murder your husband/partner or anyone who comes within 5 feet of you.

#5. You feel like you’re having your period only it’s very fucking obvious you are not.

BONUS: You suddenly do not give a flying hoot about your perfect baby plan or your Dave Matthews birth compilation. Someone better get this baby out of you right now or so help you God…..

See also:


noun \ˈlā-bər\

: physical or mental effort

: work for which someone is paid

: workers considered as a group

The Girl Hat: Mr. Yummy September 2013

It’s been a very long time since we had a Mr. Yummy and no one seems to deserve it more right now than….

Mr. Alexander Skarsgard

Born:   Alexander Johan Hjalmar Skarsgard on August 25th, 1976 (Virgo) in Stockholm, Sweden.

Most Known For:   True Blood, Generation Kill, Battleship and Melancholia.

Random Fact:   He’s served in the military and was voted sexiest man five times in Sweden!

The Mom Hat: Plus One

Hey ya’ll. It’s been awhile.
Yes, we got married. No, I haven’t gotten the pictures back yet. Trust me you’ll be the first to see them.

As many of you know already, we’re expecting our 2nd bundle of pure joy and happiness April 2014. Lots of girl vibes being sent into the universe (even though it’s basically already genetically decided.)

Two down, four to go!

As of today I am 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Here’s our first ultrasound pic at 7 weeks! I have to say I’m mildly amused that the technician was nice enough to point out it was a baby. I might have been looking for a velociraptor.

20130820171906343I bought a pocket fetal doppler and I listen to its heart beat almost every night. So far so good!

In the future, I will do my best to get back on the blogging horse.

Stay classy.

Many Hats: We’re Fucking Moving!!!!

It’s been awhile.
We’re fucking moving.
I’m using “fucking” as an adjective enhancing an adverb for both dissatisfaction and excitement.
Please see….


So anyway. We’re fucking moving. This is our new home. It’s a 3 story townhouse and it’s absolutely perfect for us. We’ll be moving in March 29th and we’re all very excited. I would post a picture of my current home but it would defeat the purpose since it looks nothing like what it did when I was growing up in it.


After my uncle passed away we discovered that there was, in fact, a mortgage on my childhood home. We cannot afford the monthly payments on this mortgage and no bank in it’s right mind would give me one to refinance it. So the conclusion was to move. It’s not all bad, though.

I can’t say I won’t be terribly devastated to leave the home I grew up in, but it is time to move on. The home we live in now is no longer the home it is in my memories. Living here makes me feel like I am still living in the past. If I am ever to have a future for myself or my family, it’s time to start making our own memories in our own home.

As you can see I’m having a serious inner struggle. I’m excited to start my new life but sad to say goodbye. I’ll be having Tripper record a little vid of me doing a walkthrough tour talking about the house room by room. Perhaps I’ll post it when it’s finished.

Sooner or later we’re going to start packing. I ordered a buttload of moving boxes from Amazon so we’re 1/100th of the way there.

Chances are we’ll leave it to the last minute.

Like everything else.

We had our inspection today and there wasn’t anything major. Some issues that need to be resolved before we can obtain an occupancy permit but I’m sure it’ll all get sorted out. Our agent tried explaining it to me today but I was too distracted by the snow/shit storm outside and worrying about getting home in time to relieve the sitter/Irma. Something about GFIs and drywall and a loose railing. Oh well.

With any luck, we’ll get the move done in one day. I’m renting a 26 foot Uhaul and paying some moving helpers to help Tripper (because I’m going to be waaay too busy keeping the Boss occupied and can’t be bothered to lift a finger.) I don’t want to be held up in an Extended Stay with the Boss if I can help it. He’s already going to be traumatized enough.

The Girl Hat: Mr. Yummy February 2013

I have to admit a lot of my decision for this month’s Mr. Yummy was weighing on the SAG awards last night, which is why February’s post is a little early. So in honor of his award for ‘Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series‘, I present to you for your ogling pleasure….

Mr. Alec Baldwin

Born: Alexander Rae Baldwin III on April 3rd, 1958 in Long Island, NY.

Most Known For: The Departed, Beetlejuice, 30 Rock, and The Hunt For Red October.

Random Fact: In 2011 announced that he canceled his plans to retire from acting. He explained that his intention had been to enter politics, but he decided against it and he will renew his contract for “30 Rock” (2006). (Thank You IMDB!)


Congrats, Mr. Baldwin! You are a classic Mr. Yummy!