The Wise Hat: Random Uses For Animal Crackers

English: Stauffer's Animals Crackers

1. Throw them at people you like
2. Throw them at people you don’t like
3. See how many you can fit in your bra
4. Have a parade
5. Put them in soup and sing about it
6. Name them
7. Make them mate and imitate the noises
8. Pretend they’re your friends because you’re a loser who plays with animal crackers all day so you have none
9. Break off their heads and exchange them with others
10. See if they can float and for how long
11. Leave a trail of them behind you so you don’t get lost
12. Shove them up your nose
13. Eat them with various condiments
14. See how many you can fit into a balloon
15. Make them act out Dancing with the Stars
16. Throw them into the toilet to help teach your son how to aim
17. Use them as bait to catch a dragon
18. Use them as treats to train your dragon
19. Write a comic strip about them
20. Crush them and smoke them
21. Direct a safari show
22. Take pictures of them in random places
23. Make frames out of them for said pictures
24. Paint the donkeys blue
25. Paint the elephants red then step on them
26. Cook them
27. Reward your husband with them when he takes out the trash
28. Reward your dog with them when he doesn’t pee on the kids
29. Tape them to your neighbor’s front door
30. Mail them to random people from the phonebook


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