The Mom Hat: How To: Tell If You’re In Labor

#1. You don’t need a random blogger to tell you you’re in labor… you fucking know and your doctor better call you back right fucking now.

#2. You can’t write a post on Baby Center asking your fellow pre-laborers if you are in labor because you’re too focused on being in labor.

#3. You can time your contractions and you’re not “hmm”ing and “huh”ing about it.

#4. You want to murder your husband/partner or anyone who comes within 5 feet of you.

#5. You feel like you’re having your period only it’s very fucking obvious you are not.

BONUS: You suddenly do not give a flying hoot about your perfect baby plan or your Dave Matthews birth compilation. Someone better get this baby out of you right now or so help you God…..

See also:

1la·bor

noun \ˈlā-bər\

: physical or mental effort

: work for which someone is paid

: workers considered as a group

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