The Mom Hat: Shit My Kid Did Today


I guess it’s an improvement from the walls.

Considering encouraging this behavior. The tub is easily washable and it saves trees.



The Mom Hat: A Case For Summer Pregnancies

Snowed-in public school, Valdez, Alaska, 1910 Because there wasn’t enough blocking your front door right now.

One of the top things I hear on the birth boards/groups this time around, is how grateful ladies are that they are not pregnant during the summer. Having been pregnant during the summer the first time, I am going to make my case why I think this is the most absurd statement ever (at least if you live in the North.)

1. No flip flops when your feet swell or shorts when your legs do too.
2. No cute summery dresses to show off your bump. In fact, no one can tell you’re pregnant under that huge coat.
3. Maternity jackets are expensive.
4. Shivering during contractions/Braxton Hicks.
5. Your baby shower is going to be inside.
6. Center of gravity change + pregnancy clumsiness + ice covered sidewalks/steps/streets = disaster.
7. Try shoveling your car out of the snow in your third trimester.
8. Your maternity portraits are going to be inside.
9. There’s no Black Friday when you’re pregnant if you care at all about you baby’s well being. You’ve seen the videos on YouTube. Just in case you didn’t:
10. Forget about getting your drink on on New Years.

BONUS: People might actually mistake you for a penguin with all the waddling.

What are some other reasons why being pregnant in the Summer is better??
….. or why being pregnant in the winter sucks?

The Mom Hat: How To: Tell If You’re In Labor

#1. You don’t need a random blogger to tell you you’re in labor… you fucking know and your doctor better call you back right fucking now.

#2. You can’t write a post on Baby Center asking your fellow pre-laborers if you are in labor because you’re too focused on being in labor.

#3. You can time your contractions and you’re not “hmm”ing and “huh”ing about it.

#4. You want to murder your husband/partner or anyone who comes within 5 feet of you.

#5. You feel like you’re having your period only it’s very fucking obvious you are not.

BONUS: You suddenly do not give a flying hoot about your perfect baby plan or your Dave Matthews birth compilation. Someone better get this baby out of you right now or so help you God…..

See also:


noun \ˈlā-bər\

: physical or mental effort

: work for which someone is paid

: workers considered as a group

The Mom Hat: Plus One

Hey ya’ll. It’s been awhile.
Yes, we got married. No, I haven’t gotten the pictures back yet. Trust me you’ll be the first to see them.

As many of you know already, we’re expecting our 2nd bundle of pure joy and happiness April 2014. Lots of girl vibes being sent into the universe (even though it’s basically already genetically decided.)

Two down, four to go!

As of today I am 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Here’s our first ultrasound pic at 7 weeks! I have to say I’m mildly amused that the technician was nice enough to point out it was a baby. I might have been looking for a velociraptor.

20130820171906343I bought a pocket fetal doppler and I listen to its heart beat almost every night. So far so good!

In the future, I will do my best to get back on the blogging horse.

Stay classy.

Many Hats: We’re Fucking Moving!!!!

It’s been awhile.
We’re fucking moving.
I’m using “fucking” as an adjective enhancing an adverb for both dissatisfaction and excitement.
Please see….


So anyway. We’re fucking moving. This is our new home. It’s a 3 story townhouse and it’s absolutely perfect for us. We’ll be moving in March 29th and we’re all very excited. I would post a picture of my current home but it would defeat the purpose since it looks nothing like what it did when I was growing up in it.


After my uncle passed away we discovered that there was, in fact, a mortgage on my childhood home. We cannot afford the monthly payments on this mortgage and no bank in it’s right mind would give me one to refinance it. So the conclusion was to move. It’s not all bad, though.

I can’t say I won’t be terribly devastated to leave the home I grew up in, but it is time to move on. The home we live in now is no longer the home it is in my memories. Living here makes me feel like I am still living in the past. If I am ever to have a future for myself or my family, it’s time to start making our own memories in our own home.

As you can see I’m having a serious inner struggle. I’m excited to start my new life but sad to say goodbye. I’ll be having Tripper record a little vid of me doing a walkthrough tour talking about the house room by room. Perhaps I’ll post it when it’s finished.

Sooner or later we’re going to start packing. I ordered a buttload of moving boxes from Amazon so we’re 1/100th of the way there.

Chances are we’ll leave it to the last minute.

Like everything else.

We had our inspection today and there wasn’t anything major. Some issues that need to be resolved before we can obtain an occupancy permit but I’m sure it’ll all get sorted out. Our agent tried explaining it to me today but I was too distracted by the snow/shit storm outside and worrying about getting home in time to relieve the sitter/Irma. Something about GFIs and drywall and a loose railing. Oh well.

With any luck, we’ll get the move done in one day. I’m renting a 26 foot Uhaul and paying some moving helpers to help Tripper (because I’m going to be waaay too busy keeping the Boss occupied and can’t be bothered to lift a finger.) I don’t want to be held up in an Extended Stay with the Boss if I can help it. He’s already going to be traumatized enough.

The Mom Hat: Thanksgiving 2012

On The Menu This Year:
Cornish Game Hens  with Garlic and Rosemary cooked in the slow cooker on High for 4 hours
Watergate Salad with minced Cranberries instead of Pecans
Candied Sweet Potatoes
Canned Jellied Cranberry Sauce
and the classic Green Bean Casserole

Compared to some people’s menus that I’ve seen, ours was pretty tame. One of my friends posted theirs on Facebook and it included at least 3 meat items. Who does that? Seriously? Maybe I just like simplicity.

I made the hens in the slow cooker to make my life easier and planned on transferring them to the oven to brown them in the end. By the time I was ready to throw them in, though, they were so tender that they just fell apart with every attempt to lift them out of the crock. Still amazing.

Yet again, dinner was ready late (7pm instead of 6:30) so The Boss was unable to break bread with us. I told Tripper that we’re going to be normal people next year and eat Thanksgiving dinner at 3pm.

Why is that anyway? Why do we eat so obnoxiously early on the holidays? It’s more like Thanksgiving Lunch than dinner.

Thanksgiving dessert became post-Thanksgiving breakfast.

I can’t wait until next year when the Boss and I will be making gratitude leaves.

On a sadder note, there was not much to be thankful for in our eyes this year. Last year was my first Thanksgiving after my dad had passed away and this year was the first without my Uncle Hilary as well. It’s difficult being without family on the holidays which is one of the reasons I want to create such a big one. Someday years in the future, my home will be filled with the laughter of all my children (perhaps their own as well) and my table will be surrounded by enough family to make sure no one ever feels alone. For now, we are thankful for the roof over our heads, the love in our hearts, the family that we do have, and the ability to live in financial comfort.

What were you thankful for this year?

The Mom Hat: Relay For Life 2012

official logo of the American Cancer Society R...

This was our first year participating in Relay For Life and we decided to hold a photo booth for onsite fundraising. The photo booth was a big success, everyone looked fabulous and we raised even more for Relay. A special thank you to Alicia and Helen for finding a place for our tent and making the arrangements, it means a TON!

On a more personal note, it’s been a long time since I experienced something as powerful as this. There’s nothing more moving than seeing so many people come together to share, support, give, and fight for the same cause. When I stood next to my best friend in the luminaria ceremony we watched as everyone light their own luminaries to honor or memory of their loved ones and for me it was very bittersweet. I felt grief for the loss of so many and for the loss of my own, hope for the ones who are beating it and, at the same time, not so alone anymore. I lit a luminary in memory of my mother, who lost her fight in 1999; I held the hand of my best friend, who is full of strength and fighting every day.

This is such an important cause and I can’t wait for next year!

The Mom Hat: March For Babies 2012!

I’m excited to announce our first year participating in March for Babies!

You can participate with us through our March For Babies Mini-Sessions!
Sponsor our team with a donation of $25 or more and receive a FREE mini-session!
These are one hour sessions in studio or on location (within 25 miles of 60061) and include Limited Images on DVD.
Donations of $50 or more will also receive one FREE 8×10 from their mini-session.
Contact us for more details and mention the March For Babies Mini-Sessions.

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. Funds raised in March for Babies support research and programs that help moms have full-term pregnancies and babies begin healthy lives. And they will be used to bring comfort and information to families with a baby in newborn intensive care.

The Mom Hat: Noah’s First Easter

I’m starting to appreciate the fact that Noah will know very little about what’s going on for the first year of his life. That gives me time to practice holidays. Nevertheless this was Noah’s (technically) first Easter. So of course, I did what all new moms do, and stuck him in an Easter onesie and silly Easter ears.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPad App

Being as busy as I have been, I managed to decorate the dining room and kitchen for today. If you’re wondering I basically got everything from Target. They had the cutest Easter stuff this year.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPad App

My first attempt at a layered cake…..

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPad App

It’s a strawberry cake with buttercream icing and coconut sprinkled on top. I colored the icing in between the layers pastel green and the outside pastel blue. We were so full from dinner we have yet to try it.

Unfortunately, Noah wasn’t able to sit with us for dinner because mommy read the wrong directions and we ate very very late. I accidentally read the cooking directions on the glazing packet which said to cook for 10 minutes. This seemed plausible since the ham is full cooked. Nope. The real directions were inside the plastic wrap. Really? Who puts directions INSIDE a sealed ham? Lesson learned. It came out awesome anyway.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPad App

I hope everyone else had a terrific day and got to spend time with everyone they love. Happy Easter everyone! (except those who don’t like easter)